What are you really asking others when you challenge them to be more courageous?

Courage, a word that comes up time and time again when we do our deep dive interviews with new corporate clients that are keen to under our Kina-Iya leadership development program. 

In organizations that we speak to today, courage is typically associated with speaking up, making tough calls, taking accountability, lead and step up, challenge, debate ,engaging in honest and direct conversations and healthy conflict.  Leaders in organization long for their people AND for themselves to show up in braver ways.  

This topic of courage is close to my heart, there are so many intricate, sensitive and liberating dimensions to it, helping people take courageous actions and show up with more authentic presence. 

While in this article I will be looking at it in the context of leadership, all the concepts can be directly applied  and equally relevant to home and community environments as well. 

So, when asking someone to BE COURAGEOUS – what does this really mean? 

Let’s quickly look into this concept of Courage, it’s defined broadly as the choice and willingness to confront agony, pain, danger, uncertainty or intimidation (Wikipedia). The origin of the word comes from the Latin word Cor, which means heart and in its original definition it meant: “To speak one’s mind by telling all of one’s heart” (Dr. Brown). 

In the research by Dr. Brené Brown, an American professor who spent decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, connection and empathy, it was revealed that: 

There is no courage without vulnerability.

Vulnerability is uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure (Dr. Brown). Facing situations where the outcome is uncertain, or opening ourselves up to being hurt, to fail and to stumble. 

So actually when leaders in our leadership development program long for their people and themselves to be more courageous we are ultimately asking people – to be more VULNERABLE. 

The often overlooked ingredient to facilitating courageous spaces.  

That is a big ask. 

What does this mean for leaders?

In my one-on-one coaching journeys with leaders, this topic of courage and vulnerability comes up more often than not. Some of the areas and questions we often explore together and that may be useful to kick-off your thinking and exploration as you are reading this are: 

First and foremost GET HONEST with ourselves: 

• Where in my leadership would I like to show up more courageously?
• How comfortable am I with being vulnerable myself?
• What needs my attention to grow my comfort level?

Secondly, TAKE STOCK:

• Where would I like my team to show up more courageously? 
• What am I already doing that facilitates vulnerable and courageous conversations and actions in that space? 
• What is missing? 

Lastly, TAKE ACTION:

• What is ONE way in which I, as a leader, can SHOW UP more vulnerable and courageous with my team?
• What is ONE action I can do to foster a more courageous space for my team? 

I am acutely aware that this topic is not an easy one to tackle, let’s face it, more often than not, just the thought of “having to be vulnerable” is scary and triggers us to put our guard up quickly! 

However, in order to ignite more courage, we need to hold space for BOTH courage AND vulnerability in our work environment. We need to direct our attention to creating and facilitating a space that FEELS safe and allows for vulnerability to emerge.  

Environments where people  ask for what they need, speak their truth, own their mistakes, set clear expectations and reach out for support when needed. 

Imagine if we were able to create those liberating workspaces all around us – what would be possible? 

Get in touch: 

To kick of your journey on creating braver leaders and more courageous and safe spaces for vulnerability and connection, get in touch with us and check out our Kina-Iya leadership training and coaching program. 

If you want to journey and rumble with your own vulnerability and courage work with our Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator-Life Coach in our team. 

Coaches don’t help people. Coaches help people help themselves.

There you are at your desk and your manager approaches you and says, how about some leadership coaching for you to help with your career path? Or here you are enjoying a nice cup of coffee with a friend and she mentions this great coach that really helped her and suggests that you get in touch too.

Often a first thought or reaction is: Why? What’s wrong with me?

Or what actually IS coaching? I am sort of excited about it, but I have no idea and I don’t have any “issues” to talk about right now.

What is coaching?

It’s a very normal reaction, especially if we are throwing around the word “help” into our conversations. We find that there is often a misconception about what real coaching is. We notice that some see it as remedial action where something needs to be “fixed” or behavior needs to be “corrected” or it’s confused with mentoring where the Coach tells you and advices you what to do to help your situation.

Coaching is NOT that

And for those that are “sort of excited” they may shy away from engaging or speaking to a Coach because they don’t know where to begin or what to bring.

Coaching becomes this elusive concept.

Coaching as a profession

We at Haraya would love to break these beliefs, thoughts and barriers that stand between Coaching and You! And provide you with an experience that is the real deal so to speak.

Yes, Coaching is a helping profession. Yes, Coaches help people. And, Yes, you can engage a coach when you need “help”. AND Coaching is so much more than that!

Coaching HELPS people understand what really matters to them. Coaching HELPS people gain clarity, focus and motivation in any of their current situations. And most importantly, Coaching HELPS people find a more powerful sense of self. That person that already lives inside of you that is aligned to purpose, values and your goals. That person that can find peace in the present moment and that person that continues to learn and grow from experiences on this journey we call life.

Coaches don’t HELP you by telling you what to do, Coaches help you by guiding you through a process, by asking thought provoking questions, by challenging you, by helping you focus on what really matters to you and by believing in you.

So in fact, Coaches don’t help people. Coaches help people help themselves.

So, what would you like “help” with today?

If this post sparked your curiosity or provoked even more questions about this topic make sure you get in touch with us and we’d be happy to chat more with you about this thing called: Coaching!

I’ve always been someone that has been sensitive to sensing the “space” – quite an elusive concept to me until a few years ago when I was able to put words to it while learning about “the Space” concept at a leadership course. It finally made sense… Sensitivity to the space doesn’t mean I always get it “right”, not at all, it just means I am tuned in or conscious that there is “something” whether I understand it or not…

Space, Environment, Mood, “The stuff not being said”…. Whatever you want to call it. I guess in a nutshell, the energy you sense in a room, between people, around you… You know, that feeling when you walk into a party or a dinner and there is just a “vibe or sense” present. Hmm, now even putting words to it, still all sounds a little intangible (!)… But you get the gist…

I was talking about this recently with some fellow coaches. As a Coach in partnership with a Client, you have to take responsibility for the energy you bring into the space; the space that is co-created between you and your client is impacted by the energy you bring into it. It will influence whether the client will open up, feels comfortable, is authentic and will go the distance.

Increased awareness of your default mode or of what your impact is will help you understand whether to switch or change the energy you are bringing or needing in the coaching space. For example, at the beginning you want to connect and make your client feel safe to be authentically himself or herself and express what they need to express therefore the energy needed in the space could be that of trust, honesty and nurturing. However further down the line in the coaching relationship you may need to create a more courageous or confrontational energy and therefore tapping into a more courageous and fierce part of yourself and bring in that energy for your client. For Coaches this is a required skill, being in tune with “the space” and being fully present at any given time with your client.

This is the same in any type of relationship or encounter… Whatever energy you bring into that space will be that of which the relationship or the dynamic will be made off or from which you create your relationship. Unfortunately, at times, my own self-judgment, fear, discomfort and even resorting to judging others (I hate to say it!) cloud my ability to read and sense the space or may result in NOT having the impact I would like to make in the space. I am no longer grounded and I loose my ability to create the presence and connection I want.

Awareness of your energy and your ability to tap into your range in addition to sensing what is needed in the space will help you build your “space impact” super power!